My Heart Exposed

As I was writing my most recent update about what was going on in my life I was confronted with the idea that I wasn't being totally honest. There is a huge ongoing issue in my life that I have been struggling with for 20 months. Since this blog is "closed" to uninvited readers, and I trust those who do read this blog, I talked with Jon about sharing with you something that has increasingly become a large part of our life's journey.

We have been struggling with infertility.

That isn't any easier to write now than it was a year ago. In fact, I hate that word because it seems to final, especially when I know in God's plan nothing is truly final. I still have hope that one day Jon and I will be parents to a little child of our own DNA. I go through this life cautiously optimistic that God will fulfill the desire in both of our hearts to experience the joy of parenthood.

But that doesn't mean some days aren't hard and some days aren't downright sad and depressing.

So how can you, my friends, help me through this journey God has called me to be on? More than anything I would covet your prayers for both Jon and I. This is an emotionally wrenching time for us, and the desire to care a child runs deep for me. As each month passes us by, hearing about another pregnancy of a friend comes with both happiness and heartache. But with that said, please don't be fake. If you happen to get pregnant, don't hide it from me. I want to be happy with you, and I also need to process it in my own way. Likewise, if you aren't sure what to say, that's OK. If you are interested on topics related to this you can find a well written article (in my humble opinion) about this subject here.

Ok, so I think that is all I can muster up emotionally to say about this topic for today. Perhaps one day I will share more details about the whys and hows, and where we are planning to go with this next. For now, thank you for your trust as I share this part of my life with you.