Thanksgiving

We were in Milwaukee for Thanksgiving this year, and I think we were both excited to be fleeing the snow and ice and get to some place warm.  (No kidding---Milwaukee was about 20 degrees warmer than Seattle!).  Of course, being in Milwaukee also meant the opportunity to see family.  It had been a year since I was last in Milwaukee (Jon was there for a short visit in April), and it was amazing to see how much Jon's step brothers have grown!  We were very thankful to spend the holiday with family and eat delicious food and have great conversation.

Because we are either crazy or love good deals, we decided to brave the Black Friday sales and head out around 5:30AM.  We hit up Menards (for you non-Midwesternes, this is a cross between Home Depot and Walmart), Kohls, Best Buy, and the Boston Store (a big department store like Macy's).  When we got home at around 9:45AM we went straight to bed and didn't emerge until after 1:00PM.  We did find some pretty good deals, but Jon's mom scored the most loot with a $150 computer from Best Buy.

We ended up staying in Milwaukee until Tuesday, so we also had lots of time to relax, sleep in, and hang out with the family.  I also (finally!) got to take the Miller Tour this year, something I've been bugging Jon about for ages.  Although I'm not a big beer drinker at all, I couldn't wait to see the "Miller Caves," and I heard about some cheesy movie they play that starts off with a deep voice saying, "Since the dawn of time there has been Miller time" for far too long.  Unfortunately the movie has either been retired or was bypassed on our tour, but I did enjoy seeing the bottling, distillery, distribution center, caves, as well as enjoyed three samples of Miller beer and pretzels.  Since the tour is free, I was surprised to hear from Jon that he only went on it once in college, thus passing up multiple opportunities for free food and beer.  If I went to college in Milwaukee and liked beer, it would have been a very popular place for me!

Snow!

The week of Thanksgiving was very eventful in Seattle.  The weather forecasters were predicting some snowfall, and I kept praying that it would come on a day I didn't have to work and drive in it.  While everyone else thinks snowfall is pretty, I was dreading having to deal with it all the way to work as I traveled over 10 miles each way and travel over two different bridges.  (For you Phoenicians, black ice will form on bridges first, so it can be especially dangerous).

When I woke up on Monday morning there was snow, and although Jon was excited (look how romantic it is!) I was very nervous.  Although the roads were pretty clear because the cars melted it on the roads, there were a few spots that were pretty snowy and starting to get icy on my way in.  The school parking lot wasn't cleared, and I had to make my own parking space because the lines were covered in snow.  As I worked that morning I could see the snowfall continue to fall...and fall...and fall.  It was not improving at all.  Then around 10:30 I got an e-mail saying the district decided to cancel school effective 12:25.  I was excited because I knew I'd be able to get home in daylight (it gets dark at 4:30 this time of year in Seattle) and I could navigate the roads better.
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That entire day the snow kept falling, as did the temps.  As the evening commute started the roads became icy.  Seattle has a lot of hills and bridges, and the combination was very dangerous.  In fact, the city closed a major highway running parallel to the I-5 as well as the West Seattle Bridge (which I take to get to work) because of the ice.  Reports were streaming in about people stuck on the freeway, and individuals were literally leaving their cars on the side of the road because they couldn't navigate the hills because of the dangerous driving conditions.  That evening I received a call that school was cancelled, my first *official* snow day in my teaching career.   The evening news that night reported about people having 10 HOUR commutes home, and many were still stuck on the freeway.

The next day Jon had to go into work, despite my protests that it was safer to work at home.  Here are some pictures of that morning in front of our house.  Normally the roads would be pretty busy on a workday during this time (around 11:00AM), but not today!  No one was out.  Jon later told me on his way in he encountered ice, but luckily the roads were so empty he was able to avoid getting in an accident.

We are still expected to have more snow before the winter/spring is over.  Yikes!  Our school year already goes until June 21st with no snow days built in, so if we have to miss any school we will be adding days to the school calendar.  I really don't feel like going to school until July, so I hope this doesn't happen!

Yee Haw, we're in Texas!

Jon's grandparents celebrated a milestone wedding anniversary the beginning of October: 60 beautiful years of marriage! The big celebration has been on our calendar for close to a year, and everyone in the family was planning on heading out to Giddings, Texas (halfway between Austin and Houston, population about 5,000) for the event. We were very excited to get to see Jon's dad and step mom (since we so rarely get to see them in Florida) as well as the rest of the family-aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews!

Jon and Dad

The weather in Texas was beautiful compared to Seattle, a sunny 68-72 degrees. We were in heaven! The day of the event was perfect. The family got there early to take pictures with a photographer, and we set up for the big open house at the Giddings Country Club. Around 100 guests ended up showing up, and I think Granny and Grandpa had a great time. The other three days were great catching up with family and eating some Texas style grub. And remember the post I mentioned earlier about the lion? He made a surprise appearance and everyone got their picture with him to put in our book.

Granna and Grandpa

Living in Seattle I sometimes forget how liberal it is in the great Pacific Northwest, but being in conservative Texas I was reminded that parts of the country think about things very differently.  I also developed (or tried to develop) a Texas accent when I was there.  It's so easy to add a little "Ya'll" into your speech or change your vowels slightly.  Jon called me out on it one day, but who doesn't love a Southern drawl?  Coming back to Seattle I instantly lost my new *cute* accent.  

Getting together with the family reminded me how I wish we could all live in the same part of the country (or even the same side of the Mississippi river!).  Hopefully it won't be another 2 years until we see everyone again!

Putting Myself Out There

This past Monday was so very emotional.  My parents left town, which always makes me weepy, but in addition to that I was speaking at a women's ministry event that evening to share with others about what infertility is like.  When I was first approached I kind of laughed it off and thought, "There is NO WAY I'm doing that!"  I've talked about before on this blog how I don't want to be a poster child for this disease, let alone be the face of it at our church.  But, low and behold, God worked on my heart and I found myself saying yes a few weeks later.

I wasn't very nervous in the weeks leading up the event, but I definitely asked for prayer from a few friends in Seattle who are familiar with my journey and knew I'd be doing this.  Then, the evening before and the day of the event I was getting pretty nervous.  Public speaking doesn't usually bother me after being in drama for years and teaching in front of kids every day, but for some reason this event really had me going.   I had practiced my speech, which grew to close to 15 minutes long, several times and I had only cried in one spot.  I was nervous about showing my emotions, but they are real and they are there, and if I cried once during the speech I was OK with that.

When I arrived my emotions were already on the brink.  The enormity of what I was about to do was all very real.  I haven't shared one-on-one with many people because I have been hurt in the past by some comments, but sharing in front of a large group of women (probably about 70-80) was an entirely different thing.  Women from all ages were there-college, retired, career women, but the group I was most nervous about was MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).  This was the group I wanted to be in, but instead I have always viewed them from the shadows.  This was the group of people that probably know the most people struggling with infertility right now but also were the same demographic of people who often didn't get it because they got pregnant without much trouble.   What would they think?

My speech basically consisted of two parts: my journey thus far and the emotions associated with it and a list of what others can do/should know about how they can be understanding for those who know someone struggling with this.  The waterworks started pretty early on, and I must have cried at least 4 separate times on stage.  It was much more difficult to get through then I ever imagined.  I cried when I talked about what it was like when I actually accepted my diagnosis.  I cried when I talked about staring at so many failed tests on my bathroom floor.  I cried when I talked about all the things infertility has robbed me of.  I cried when I said I would finally be a Mommy through adoption.

My wonderful small group, Hoping Like Hannah, helped me come up with the latter part, the list of things to share, and I was happy to know I had their full support as I was reading this even though the things I said might not be understood by those who haven't struggled with this.  I figure if even one person will think about what I said or if someone in that room is struggling with this silently perhaps they will be motivated to come to our small group to get support.

After my speech they played the video I have posted on my site previously.  As usual, I couldn't hold it together during this either, but I think I was so emotionally drained it was just a combination of the words on the screen and the enormity of what I just did that made me unable to hold back the tears.

After the event I was second guessing everything I did.  Did I cry too much (although I don't know how I would have been able to stop that).  Was it worth putting myself out there?  Did people gain any new understanding?  A few days later I received an e-mail from the Women's Ministry director which helped me feel better about how it went.  I guess I might never know how God used me that evening, but I pray that people will have a better understanding if they walked in my shoes for a little bit.

The First Gift

At our last meeting with our social worker we were told it would be a good idea to make a photo book (a la Snapfish) to mail off to our child after we received a referral.  Since I am pretty familiar with children's literature I couldn't help but think that no child would want to stare at pictures of people they have never met, so I thought it would be cuter if we could make up some type of story that feature us as the main characters along with some type of stuffed animal that would be attractive to a child.  

In my head I wanted to find something cuddly, soft, and cute for the animal because I was hoping this could be something we could also mail off along with the book so our child could have the stuffed animal while reading about his forever parents.  Well, Costco had just the thing.  They were selling the most adorable, soft stuffed animals with a matching cuddly baby blanket.  It was PERFECT!  We ended up purchasing a lion because we both thought it was adorable.  It is the first gift for our baby!

Jon and I spent some time taking the lion all over Seattle for our story, and luckily my parents were in town so they got to help out.  In a few weeks we'll be in Austin to celebrate Jon's grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and see Jon's entire paternal side, so the lion will get to visit them for our book.  Then we will mail the little lion to Milwaukee so Jon's maternal family can take pictures with it.  I am really excited to see what will develop.  For now, here are some of my favorite pictures.

A Turn Around?

ASU has had a rough season.  After winning the first 2 games to opponents that aren't really in our league (literally and figuratively) the first big test came in Wisconsin.  We lost in a heart breaker by one point, a game we should have won more times than one, but we kept shooting ourselves in the foot.  Then came Oregon and Oregon State.  Same thing, different weekend.   We lost three games by 15 points which are terrible ways to get a losing record.

We needed to win yesterday's game at Husky Stadium.  Jon and I have had tickets to the game for weeks and had been planning on going since moving to Seattle, and we had seats in the ASU section of the stadium.  You truly had to be a fan to attend this game because it rained, poured, showered, and we got drenched for over four hours.  Just when the rain would seem to let up a bit, it started all over again.  Although we were both wearing our heavy winter jackets (purchased since moving to Seattle), my jacket soaked through to my ASU sweatshirt which soaked through to my turtleneck.  We both shared a garbage bag to keep our jeans from getting wet, but the seats were wet and it was impossible to stay dry.  At halftime we walked all over the stadium to purchase a poncho, but when they ran out of the clear ponchos and only had purple ones left, we stayed true to our team and stayed wet for the second half.

It was worth it.

ASU was ahead for the entire game, and with seats in the 23rd row we were there for every great pass, field goal, and touchdown.  Our fellow ASU fans were great, and aside from a very drunk UW fan who kept pestering us, threw up, and left the results right behind us, I had a great time.

I also realized in the middle of watching the game that when ASU is back here playing UW in two years we more than likely won't go because we will have a little baby then.  This was pretty exciting.  Although we can participate in events like this now, we are both excited for what is to come and watching the game from home instead of live.  We know our baby will bring us so much joy, and I can't wait to teach him the ASU fight song.  He is going to be very indoctrinated at an early age.

How to "Fix" Today's Schools

The newest buzz topic in the media revolves around public education in this country. Between Oprah, The View, a weekly special this week on NBC Nightly News...you can't turn on your TV without hearing how terrible the public schools are along with a call to action to take a stand and demand better.

I have been trying to stay off my soap box about this, but I can't any longer. I have been a public school teacher for the past eight years, and I attended public schools from 2nd grade to high school, as well as attending a public university for both my undergrad and two graduate degrees. My mom, two grandparents, great aunt and uncle as well as Jon's mom, aunt, and both grandfathers were also teachers or principals. I feel like I am pretty knowledgeable about the subject and have, in fact, grown up listening about the topic of public education.

Are there "bad" schools? I think there are schools with bad teachers (in the best and worst neighborhoods), but this doesn't make the entire school bad. (And I'd like to point out each profession has "bad" examples-lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs, etc). There are schools that struggle to meet NCLB requirements each year, but I also don't think the performance on this one test makes a school bad. It's not as simple as that. The media would have you believe that by tying test scores to teacher's evaluations, the entire system would improve. This is a fallacy.

The fact remains that students come into the classroom each day with different advantages and disadvantages. I taught for six years in an "excelling" school district based on NCLB scores. The students in my classroom had parents that were actively involved, private tutors were hired if necessary, they were exposed to the latest technology at home, and were given lots of opportunities to explore their world through traveling and extra curricular activities. In contrast, students in my current school, and the district my Mom taught in for 35 years, come to school and eat breakfast because their parents don't have the money to provide one at home. The usually come home at the end of the day to an empty house because their parents are working multiple jobs, or some might be in jail and are out of the picture. These students often times don't receive motivation from home to do their homework, no one is there to help them study, and the idea of going to college is totally out of the question because no one in their family has ever achieved this goal.

Are the vast majority of teachers in these two schools working their tails off to provide meaningful opportunities and lessons for their students? ABSOLUTELY. But are the teachers working with the same type of student? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It is not the children's fault that they are growing up in different environments, and it is not the teacher's fault that these students are coming to school with entirely different sets of readiness and/or preparedness. The blame for how these students perform on test scores can not rely entirely on the teacher each year.

So you may be thinking...then how do (some) charter schools in low income areas do it? How do they have 100% acceptance rates into college and high test scores? In my opinion the difference is parental involvement and student selectivity.

Parents in charter schools elect to have their child attend that school, thus they are already showing they are actively involved and motivated to do something about their child's education. Parents involvement is a huge factor in student success, but as a country we want to overlook this fact. It's easier to blame the teachers than say to parents, "If you want your child to succeed, you also have to play a part in the process."

Many times charter schools are able to select which students they accept into their school, and if a student isn't "cutting it," these students can just as easily be removed. A public school has the responsibility to educate EVERYONE. As long as you live in the school's boundaries, you WILL NOT be turned away. Charter schools do not live by this same code.

Are there things we can do better in American public education? Absolutely! Are struggling schools all the fault of teachers and/or teacher's unions? NO!

I wish the media would present a more balanced view of the school situation in America. There is rarely only one reason a problem is occurring, and until some respected individuals stand up and say, "Look, it can't just be that public school teachers stink. There's got to be more to this story" the myth about the terrible public schools in American will continue to be broadcast.

In the meantime, I'll continue to educate. I'll work my behind off providing meaningful, engaging lessons to students, and I'll continue to inform adults about the misconceptions that are out there regarding America's public schools and the teachers inside of them.

Spa Week

This week is Spa Week on the West Coast which means great deals for you and me on places that normally cost a ton of money. You can check out the deals here, but I decided to go to the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa. I've always wanted to check out this place and found the perfect opportunity with this deal. Plus, I needed the stress relief because things have been crazy around here.

Upon entering the spa you are taken to the relaxation room as well as the dressing room to put on your robe. Then, in the relaxation room you can enjoy treats, hot tea, and coffee. Because my technician was extremely prompt even though I was early I didn't really get to enjoy the relaxation room at the beginning of my treatment (but went back at the end!), but I was happy that I was seen right away.

Once inside the room was decorated with candles and soft music. A massage table was in the center covered by some very think foil. I was going to have a "Stress Melter" which consisted of an exfoliation, warm oil wrap, and neck massage. When I got into the room I had to derobe and put on disposable G-string underwear (no room for modesty here!) You are always discretely covered, just like with a massage, but it was a little different.

For the exfoliation she put on rough gloves, so it wasn't the most relaxing part of the experience. Then she began putting the oil over all of my body and proceeded to take the foil and blanket and wrap it over me. Soon the oil started getting warm which felt great. As the oil was heating up around me it became a cocoon of warmth. Then she proceeded to massage my neck and upper back. I felt very relaxed afterwards, so the treatment was a success!

Some Big News

Jon and I have decided to adopt from South Korea!

We researched a lot of different programs and narrowed it down between domestic and South Korea. I know these probably seem like night and day choices, so why did we pick South Korea?

One of the major concerns we had about adopting state side was not knowing a great deal about the baby. Although we would be able to adopt the baby almost immediately after birth (a definite plus in many ways), if the baby was exposed to alcohol or drugs it might not show until several months of age. (Agencies do not test birth mothers for drug or alcohol abuse during the pregnancy). One of the big movements in domestic adoption is "open adoptions," and Jon and I weren't very comfortable about continuing to meet the birth mother throughout our child's formative years, especially if the baby's first family is in the NW and we plan to move back to AZ in a few years. In some ways we also felt like adopting a child in America felt, at times, a little like buying a baby. It's amazing that some agencies and companies can guarantee a child to you faster if you pay more money upfront. It just doesn't seem right!

We looked at several international programs before deciding on South Korea. We liked South Korea because of all we looked at (Russia, Ukraine, China, Mongolia, etc) the babies were raised in foster families instead of orphanages. The institutional delays common in babies who don't receive lots of one-on-one care aren't present because the children in South Korea have lots of personal attention from their foster family.

South Korea's medical system is also on par with that of the US and Canada, so babies are given extensive medical care throughout their time in South Korea. We also will receive medical reports on the baby when we receive our referral, probably when the baby is between 5-6 months of age. Although I'm sad that I will miss out on these important first few months, I am thankful that our child will be well taken care of during this time. (Although if you ask me about this after we receive our referral I might not be so matter of fact about this).

Many international adoption programs have strict guidelines of who can adopt from their family. They look at how long you have been married, if you have any divorces, your height/weight ratio, if you have any other children, etc. The waits for some programs are also very extensive: China is between 4-5 years (!) right now.

Since we have decided to adopt I have been readings lots of books on South Korea and on international adoption in general. If you'd like, you can check out our blog about our adoption. We have lots more information there, and we plan on keeping it updated fairly often over the course of this journey. (If you end up posting a comment, please try to keep it anonymous since it's a public blog.)

Seattle Challenge

Last weekend Jon and I participated in the Seattle Challenge, an Amazing Race like competition through the streets of Seattle. We are huge fans of the show and our family is always telling us, "You guys should go on the Amazing Race," so we did a "training run." We were racing as team "Sparky's Super Squad," thus the ASU ensemble in the pics.

We had to show up at Jillian's at South Lake Union, and the place was packed! We would receive all 12 clues at the same time, but we only had to complete 11 of them. Our plan was to study the clues, decide where we were supposed to go, and then map out the best route. We had a few "phone a friends" ready because the competition allowed the use of smart phones and home Internet connection is much faster than Jon's iPhone. We were only allowed to use our own two feet or public transportation the entire time.

At 1:00PM sharp they gave out the clues, and just getting a clue paper was mayhem. We immediately high tailed it to the closest bus stop and quickly figured out we needed to get to the Space Needle for one of our clues. Instead of stopping and determining what order we should go in, as we originally *said* we would, we just started going since the bus wasn't coming for over 10 minutes. The clue about the Space Needle was pretty easy, but we had to photograph our team and someone else jumping in the air with the Space Needle in the background. It is harder than you'd think having everyone's feet off the ground at the SAME TIME in a time delayed shutter shot. We must have jumped 30 different times, and even then we weren't sure if it would count.

The biggest time waster ended up being the answer to this clue:

"This park shares a name with a failed presidential candidate and was actually a stop on The Amazing Race when the show came to the region, so we had to include it. Plus it offers some pretty spectacular views-take a photo with your team inside/on the central sculpture-and capture as much of the skyline as possible. "

The answer to this is Kerry Park, located at the top of Queen Anne hill. The reason why the views from this park are so great is because Queen Anne is STEEP, and it took a lot out of us to climb this thing. Plus, it was very out of the way. By eliminating this clue and answering all of the other ones we would have shaved at least 30 minutes off our final time.

What other wacky things did we have to do: do the Charlie's Angels pose with a Seattle cop, find a street musician and take a photo, find a building that was constructed before 1869, find someone in a Mariner's jersey (not tee shirt) and have your team mime pitching while the fan's swinging in the photo.

The hardest clues to decipher were probably these:

1. These craft perform "Chesley S." like maneuvers everyday-with no headlines. Fine one and take a picture of it.

2. What do you get when you add a dramatic former View personality and an NBA Team? Take a photo at the original and make a human pyramid out front including one other Challenge team.

3. The inventor of the mobile sculpted this massive red bird 25 years

before it found its permanent home in Seattle. Take a photo under it.

Jon and I finished the race in about 2.5 hours, but the winners were done in a blistering 82 minutes! We ended up in 52nd place out of 140 teams, but we had lots of fun doing it. I was sore for about 4 days afterwards because in total we probably ran/walked at least 4 miles. So are we signing up for The Amazing Race anytime soon? We'll keep you posted, but don't hold your breath! :)

Summer's almost over!

It's been almost two weeks since I posted, which is quite a bit of time during the summer when one would think I have lots of extra time since I'm not working. Not true! I have been so busy writing lately (in addition to reading) that my days are flying by.

I recently wrote a letter to Jon's company urging them to consider offering adoption benefits for their employees. A lot of Fortune 500 companies (Microsoft, Google, Motorola, Bank of America, etc) offer this because adoptions are so expensive, and I think it would be great for them to recognize and support that people build their families lots of different ways. We haven't sent it off yet, but you can be praying it would be looked at and considered instead of just being shoved to the corner of someone's desk or-worse yet-thrown away!

I also wrote a letter to President Obama in reference to the housing crisis. As many of you know, Jon and I still have a house in Arizona we lived in for 4 years before moving to Seattle. We can't sell it because we have lost so much money on the property, and we don't feel like it is ethical to foreclose (although that would be the easy option since renting a home from 1,300 miles away is a pain in the royal behind). Since we pay our mortgage every month on time our mortgage company isn't willing to work with us to lock in a lower rate. I just feel people like us are being forgotten. I did hear back from Mr. Obama-a typical form letter with him thanking me for writing in and suggestions of whom to contact for information about the housing situation in America. To be honest this is what I expected, but I secretly hoped I'd get a "real" response.

I have also been writing a ton lately on two new blogs I have started (one by myself, and one with Jon). My new blog is called Trekking Out, and I hope one day it will grow into a travel blog that people can check out to get itinerary information. I actually started this blog almost 2 years ago when I picked out the URL, but I never posted anything. I figured it can't hurt to give writing it a shot. Maybe nobody will read it (ever!), but I love to travel and I figure you can't go wrong talking about something you are passionate about because it just might show up in your writing. You can click here to check it out, but be nice if you comment! :)

My Mom came into town this past week to do nothing more but hang out. It was such a wonderful time. We saw chick flicks we couldn't drag our husband's to, we ate at Panera for lunch, we went shopping, we cooked together, we explored parts of town I hadn't been brave enough to see on my own...it was really so enjoyable. Here is a picture of us taking a hike in a park close to my house. I miss my Mom already, but I am thankful she has the time and money to be able to come out and visit me as often as she does.

We have some other news on the horizon so keep checking back here for updates.

Summer Reading: Part Deux

I think the title of this post speaks for itself, so I'll dive right in:

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

This was one of those books that will stay with me. Not because it was one of my favorites, but because the dystopia that was created was so alarming and disgusting to me. Women are treated like farm animals, and unless they can breed they are nothing in society. The author picks on Christians as those responsible for such atrocities, and I think that is an "easy out" for many authors. I will say this book, written in the early 80s, was a bit ahead of its time in the portrayal of certain American attitudes/events today. The author describes the destruction of the government, putting aside the constitution for the sake of the greater good, and stereotyping of Middle Easterners. I found these tidbits interesting. So would I recommend this book? There are definitely hard passages to read, and it wasn't my favorite novel because of some of the nature of the book, but it was definitely interesting. The ending is a bit of a cliffhanger as well, and I found myself wishing for some resolution which made me realize I was emotionally invested in the characters.

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

Super easy read, but I didn't "get it" nor do I understand why my library considers it a classic. I suppose I was looking for a book with a beginning middle, and end (I ask for so much!), but that wasn't present here. The short chapters were like vignettes of the character's life that didn't usually relate to each other. It was almost like putting together a quilt with fabrics that someone picked out because they were the same color palette but entirely different in every other way (pattern, fabric, material, etc). There are definitely a lack of novels that focus on people of races other than Caucasian, but I have a hard time believing this is the best of Latino literature available.

Adopting After Infertility by Patricia Irwin Johnston

This novel was written from a perspective that I can obviously relate to. I though the author was sincere, candid, and the book was well written. My only dislike was it was written almost 20 years ago, and some of the ideas she discusses, mainly open/closed adoption, have drastically changed in that time period. I would recommend this book for someone in my situation.

Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff

This book was extremely interesting because it covered so many of the questions I have in my head about becoming an adoptive parent. What is the homestudy like? How will I deal with the stupid comments from other people about our adoption? How does it feel to be sized up by my social worker? birth mother? others? about being fit to parent when millions of people never have to face these types of inquiries. How can I best meet the needs of a child that isn't of my ethnic background? The list goes on and on. This was a very easy read for me, and the author really "got" where I am at.

Children's books:

Alone in an Untamed Land: THe Filles du Roi Diary of Helene St. Onge by Maxine Trottier

This is a historical fiction series for young adults, and albeit not very popular at either Copper Ridge or Gatewood, I finally got a chance to read a book in this series this summer. The main character was 13 years old, and I think she would be relatable to a lot of girls that age even though she lived in the 1600's. The book was an easy read and although predictable it was well done. There was a bit of an ick factor for me (and I know a teenager would feel the same!). The main character got married at 16 to a man who was 30! Now I realize that was probably common then, but it really bothered me that Helene married her best friend's father. Just a little too close for comfort to me. Nevertheless, I would recommend the Dear America/Canada series to girls who enjoyed historical fiction.

Hayley the Rain Fairy by Daisy Meadows

I would have loved this series as a little girl, but I had to try very hard to appreciate it as an adult. The story took about 15 minutes to read, and plot conflict was minor and easy to solve (like most 80's family sitcoms). However, the little girls at my school are going crazy for this book series, and I understand the appeal because of the girly nature of this book. Fairies, adventure, and intelligent young female heroines...this is book candy for little ones in all its glory.

Adoption Nation book and thoughts

As I recently posted, I read the book Adoption Nation which gives a lot of information about domestic and international adoptions, stories of people who have navigated the system, etc. One of the most interesting parts of the book was reading about how Americans view adoption as others opinions are something Jon and I would undoubtedly encounter as we seriously consider adoption to expand our family.

The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute conducted a survey of Americans about how they perceive adoption. In order to make this interactive as possible, perhaps you could take a look at the questions, form your opinion, and then scroll down to see if your opinion is similar to that of other Americans.

Do you view adoption as positive, negative, or unsure?

Do you think adoption serves a useful purpose?

Is adoption as good as having your "own" child?

Is it harder to love a child that's not your own flesh and blood?

Do you think adopted kids are first rate? second rate? not sure?

And the results are....

90% view adoption positively

95% said adoption serves a useful purpose
50% said adoption is not quite as good as having one's "own child"
25% said it is harder to love a child that's not your own flesh and blood
70% of Americans consider adoptees to be "first rate." Adam Perman writes, "Although the term (first rate) is not explained, [it] presumably refers to their quality as human beings. 20% said [adoptees are] second rate, and ten percent weren't sure, which means at least one in 5 people who learn that my kids are adopted start out thinking they're somehow inferior without even knowing a single thing about them."

Interesting, huh?

I'm not about to engage in a debate over people's viewpoints on adoption, but I do think it is interesting what the poll shows. I know it has made me think A LOT over the past few weeks. By thinking about our own perceptions and ideas perhaps we will better be able to understand why we believe the way we do.

It would be my hope that if we bring a child into our homes that we didn't biologically create that the people in my life would wholeheartedly love, accept, nurture, and cherish that child. And I believe they would. However, it probably means my child will face prejudice, or at least misunderstanding, from those they encounter in the world.

I have also read a great deal about stories of adoptive parents and adoptees. Seemingly innocent comments that I would never have thought twice about have hurt and scarred adoptees and their families. Comments like, "What happened to his real mom?," "We couldn't have children of our own, so we adopted,"(your adopted children are your children), and "Why did you chose to adopt? Wouldn't you rather have your own?" are painful comments for parents and children who have experienced adoption to hear. It just reiterates to me how much we all need to think twice before we speak because our innocent words can hurt others deeply.

Since reading this book I have read two other adoption books, and I have learned a lot about the entire process during the past month or so. If you would like, we would appreciate your prayers as we have narrowed our eventual adoption path down to two options: domestic adoption and international adoption for South Korea. We also have an appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist on Friday to decide if there are any other medical possibilities we are comfortable pursuing.

Summer Reading So Far

Every summer I get a chance to relax and catch up on some reading. Likewise, for the past several years I have included reviews of books I read. Here is the first batch of books of the summer since school got out 2 ½ weeks ago. Happy reading!

Darcy’s Story by Daisy Meadows 3.5/5 stars

I recently reread Pride and Prejudice, and I thought the idea of telling the famous love story from Darcy’s perspective might be interesting. At first I was put off by this book. It felt like the author had a checklist of things she needed to cover (remember, Darcy’s sister was engaged prior to her meeting Wickham, so we need to toss in some details about that about….now), but as I kept reading I noticed this less and less. The story was interesting and stayed true to the original characters. It was appealing getting to know Darcy better as well, since I have always felt it was difficult to “buy” in the original why he suddenly likes Lizzy, seemingly out of nowhere. If you like Pride and Prejudice, you probably would enjoy this book.

A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway 2 ½ / 5 stars

Surprisingly enough, nowhere in my educational career was I ever assigned to read Hemingway. I have always heard about this classic, and I decided to pick it up even though war stories really aren’t my cup of tea. All I can say is I have no idea why this is a classic. The first part was very challenging to get through and even put me to sleep (which is quite an accomplishment!) . The dialogue was difficult to follow because it would last for several pages at a time and never mention who was talking (Kinda similar to Song of Solomon). Many of the sentences were also very simple. I taught my sixth graders about the importance of fluency, but this book lacked it! By the end of the story it had finally picked up, but by that time I was pretty disinterested in the characters. Now I know why none of my teachers in school never chose to study this book in more depth!

She Walks in Beauty by Siri Mitchell 4/5 stars

I am happy to report this is probably the best book I have read in several years. It is historical fiction, my personal favorite genre, and the characters were easy to cheer on and the writing was engrossing. I actually finished this book in one day (although I had to stay up to nearly midnight to do it). Unlike so many historical fiction novels I read last summer, this book was totally clean and featured no lurid scenes about the character’s sex lives. (I recently read Time Traveler’s Wife, and that author couldn’t help including those types of details, too!) I will note that there were no plot twists and the story was fairly predictable, but the story itself was one I found myself happy to be in. I would definitely read more books by this author, and I plan on requesting more from my local library this summer.

Distant Dreams by Judith Pella 3 ½ / 5 stars

This is another historical fiction novel written by a Christian author. However, unlike the previous story this wasn’t nearly as good. The main character, Carolina Adams, has a fascination with trains which is seen as a male preoccupation and not something her little mind should worry about. Now I am all about strong female characters fighting the world because women should be allowed to pursue anything they want (even if it is the 1800s), so in theory I should love this book. I just felt most of the minor characters were pretty one dimensional, and the details about the technical side of the railroad were, in all honesty, completely boring to me. I can overlook this issues, but one thing I can’t stand is when you invest 400+ pages into learning about these characters only to have a non-ending. In order to complete the journey you embarked upon, you must read the sequel. I hate buying into this money making technique, and for that reason coupled with the rest I would not recommend this book.

Vision in White by Nora Roberts 3.5/5 stars

I have never read Nora Roberts before, but this book looked as good as any to try out. Who doesn’t love weddings, right? The main character works closely with three best friends as wedding coordinators for the rich in their small town. During the course of the story the main character falls in love with the plaid jacket English teacher at the local high school. Although the story was predictable it was an easy read. One of my major faults is the unnecessary details about the character’s sex lives. One nice thing is the novel does wrap up by the end, and if you fell in love with the supporting girlfriends then you are in luck! Each will be given their own novel where they find love within the next few years. Now I don’t think we could wrap it up in a bow and package this up any nicer, but unfortunately this package wasn’t good enough for me to keep reading.

Adoption Nation by Adam Pertman 4/5 stars

This is a non-fiction book in all of its glory, so if you aren’t terribly interested in learning more about adoption I wouldn’t necessary recommended reading this book. It did, however, give lots of interesting facts about the history of adoption in the US, revelations in the process, things to consider, and stories about adoption (both good and bad). Unfortunately the book is 10 years old, so I know some of the information was out of date at this time. I found out some really interesting things about adoption perceptions from reading that I think I will actually devote these to another post in the near future.

Kids’ Books:

Stanley, Flat Again by Marc Brown

This is one book in a series about Stanley, who keeps going flat. Since it is written for kids, he has simple adventures that help those around him when he is flat (such as rescuing a girl from a collapsed building because he’s the only one that fits into small spaces). There is also some kid humor interjected throughout. I was recommend this book for students.

Mercy Watson Fights Crime by Kate DiCamillo

DiCamillo is most famous for her award winning books for young adults. Her Mercy Watson series is written for younger readers and are short stories about a pig and his adventures. The pig in this story ends up, due to his naivety, catching a burglar. Kids of all ages would like the cute, simple plot and funny details with colorful, glossy illustrations.

Surf’s Up, Geronimo Stilton by Geronimio Stilton

Boys love these books, so I had to take some time to read one this summer. Geronimo Stilton is a "type A" mouse who decides to take a vacation in this book of the series. Of course, nothing goes right during his vacation where his room is infested with roaches, he is unwittingly signed up to do dangerous sporting activities, and his hotel isn’t exactly upfront about the accommodations. These books would definitely amuse children, and it is good, clean fun.

This Speaks to My Heart

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Medical Update

I haven't posted in awhile about our fertility journey, but I thought I'd give an update today. As many of you probably inferred our 1st IUI on May 1st was unsuccessful. We tried our 2nd IUI the end of May, and even with two follicles that procedure was again negative. Tomorrow will be my 3rd, and final, IUI.

There are many reasons why this will probably be the end of the road, at least with Western medicine, for us. I am good at researching (yea master's degrees) and know the statistics that if you aren't pregnant after your 3rd or 4th IUI that probably won't be a successful procedure to keep trying. Before undergoing an IUI you have to be on some crazy medication, usually Clomid. Clomid has been found over time to thin a woman's reproductive lining which is essential for supporting the egg during the first stages of pregnancy. It also has been linked to ovarian cancer. This will be my 7th time on Clomid, and neither Jon or I feel comfortable with me continuing to be on that medication right now. The emotional ups and downs of the ARTs journey are very difficult on me. For my own sanity I need to take a break from this. Finally, at this time we don't feel at peace about pursuing IVF, the usual next step from the Western medical community.

Obviously both Jon and I want this procedure to be successful. We are hoping the 3rd time will be the charm so we can have a biological child of our own. But, I am beginning to understand and accept that this may never occur, something I never admitted to myself before. I always thought I'd get pregnant on Clomid, and then when we had to move onto Clomid + IUI I knew that would be the trick. But after the failure of not one, but two, IUIs I have more perspective this last time around.

Jon and I still have a strong heart and desire to be parents, and being a Mom has been something I have wanted since I was a little girl. We have therefore started to think and pray a great deal about adoption. It has been overwhelming to say the least, but we have learned a lot in the few weeks we have been considering it. This is definitely an exciting next stage, but I must be honest that it also feels a little like the death of a dream because being pregnant has been important to me, although my desire to be a Mom is definitely the greater of the two.

I appreciate those of you who have walked this journey with me, even from far away. It has been wonderful knowing that we have people who love and support us and our praying for us. Thank you for your prayers about tomorrow and the two weeks following.

Memorial Day 2010

Memorial Day weekend Jon and I decided to get out of Seattle and head south...to Portland! Only a 3 hour drive away, we wanted to get our of the city and take a mini vacation. Jon had never been to Oregon before either, and it seemed like a good time to do it.We stayed in the Nob Hill district of Portland, a cute neighborhood area in the Alphabet District close to downtown. It is famous for their shops and restaurants. We ate both nights in Nob Hill, and we actually had some of the best Mexican food we have found in the Pacific Northwest here. Now I know my Phoenicians friends may not agree if they tried it, but I have learned I have to be more flexible while living up here or else I'll never eat Mexican food! Jon and I explored downtown Portland and walked through Powell's books, reported to be the largest bookstore west of the Mississippi. I tried to figure out what system they used to arrange their books (because it certainly wasn't Dewey), but I couldn't figure it out.

We also made a stop at Voodoo Donuts, a Portland hot spot made famous for their unique take on the breakfast staple. Need an example? They are famous for their maple glazed doughnut with bacon on top! Jon was excited to order this unique combination. Although I usually like plain glazed donughts I thought I needed to be adventurous and purchased their voodoo donut. It is shaped like a doll with chocolate frosting and red filling (to simulate blood) with a pretzel stick through the heart. Classy. Their other flavors are even weirder than this...cereal on top, oreos crumbed as a topping, and there are some very "unique" doughnuts shaped and named in a risque fashion (you can click here to see the full menu). Plus, the line was 40 minutes long. At least it wasn't raining!

Jon and I also visited the International Rose Test Garden (see picture of Jon). Although all of the roses weren't in full bloom (that would be a sight to see), it was a relaxing, pretty place. The Japanese Garden was in this same general park, and we stayed here for about 30 minutes. Some of the spots inside were lovely, and we got some good pictures. (See top picture).

We also took a trip to OMNI, Portland's Science Museum. We heard it was fantastic and was very highly ranked on Trip Advisor, my #1 source for finding hotels and top attractions. Although they had some neat exhibits, we were glad we paid extra to see the IMAX movie on the Hubbel Telescope and go inside a Navy submarine.

The submarine itself was used for active duty between the 1950s to 1980s, but it was amazing to hear about the living conditions for the officers on board. I don't think I could be confined to such a small space and have no personal area. The air still smelled musty, and I couldn't imagine what it would have been like with 80 big, sweaty crew members who got showers every 5 days and were allowed to smoke on board!

The highlight of the trip was Multnomah Falls. It is not far from Portland, and it is very impressive. We decided to climb to the very top of the mountain, with Jon pushing me to keep going with each step. I always feel good when I accomplish something like that, but the actual going up part is never fun. Knowing I'd get a cold glass of water on the way down was a good motivator to keep going! (Can you see this by the expression on my face in the picture on the left?)

Overall we really liked Portland. Although much smaller than Seattle, it still seemed like a big enough town with lots to do. The neighborhoods, in general, seemed clean, safe, and well kept up. We were also surprised how quickly you could leave Portland (a la 15 minutes in one direction) and be in farm land. Seattle is definitely more built up than this (as is Phoenix, t00).

It was such a great time to get away!

Parent's visit

I always love to see family, and living so far away makes the time I see family so much more meaningful. This past weekend my parents were in town, and we had so much fun together!

Even though the weather was crummy on Friday we went to Snoqualmie Falls, a quick 30 minute car ride from ou

r house. The mist surrounding the falls made it almost eerie to see, and

my parents were very impressed. They agreed a follow up visit is a must when the weather is better.

Saturday was forecasted to be our one beautiful day of their trip, and the weather didn't disappoint. It was sunny, warm (70's), and you could see for miles. We took a WA ferry over to Bainbridge Island, 30 minutes from downtown Seattle by boat. We had fun soaking up the sun and views on the ride over. The Seattle skyline looked beautiful. Once we ar

rived we didn't have any plans and didn't know what to expect, so we just drove. We went to the northeastern most point of the island to a state beach, and we saw crabs that had washed up in the tide. Jon and I even spotted a seal playing in the sound 200 feet from the beach. Afterwards we went to Bainbride Island's downtown, Winslow, and walked around a bit.

Bainbride Island is famous for their vineyards, and since Jon and I had never been to one we decided to give is a shot. It was an experience, especially since I really don't like the taste of wine (hah!) and the server was determined to make us try the dry wines before she'd let us sample the sweeter, dessert wines I can more easily palate.

We got back to Seattle and visited the Seattle Aquarium. They had one of the largest octopus I have ever seen, and it was actually moving around and was very active. We were disappointed, however, there were no sharks and so few large sea animals inside. Finally, we ate at Ivar's on the water in downtown. My parents both thought it was the best fish and chips they had ever eaten, and I agree it was delicious.

Sunday we went to church and showed my parents around the University District shopping area by the University of Washington. Then we went to Red Mill Burgers for lunch. This

place is a Seattle institution, and when it opened at noon there was already a line of 10 people in front of us. Jon proclaims they have one of the top 5 burgers he has ever eaten (the top burger outside of Milwaukee), and everyone agreed the food was good. In fact, even Oprah has said it is one of the hamburgers you have to eat before you die. (So, for all of my friends reading this blog, what are you waiting for? Get up to Seattle, and I'll provide the transportation there!). :)

Today my parents' flight left Seattle in the early afternoon.

We made a quick trip to West Seattle so my Mom and Dad could see the library and my school. It was nice to have them be able to get a visual for the place I spend so much time in.

A similar perspective

I was reading another blog of a sister I "met" through Hannah's Prayer, a Christian community for women struggling with infertility. She posted a quote from Laura Bush that I thought was beautiful. I didn't realize that the former first family struggled with trying to conceive a baby, and the thoughts she has wrote do a very good job of describing a small part of the journey.

"But each milestone came and went. The calendar advanced, and there was no baby. The English language lacks the words "to mourn an absence." For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child, or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only "I am sorry for your loss." But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?"
- Laura Bush

I especially responded to the first sentence. This birthday was a difficult milestone in my life. It wasn't so much my biological clock telling me I'm too old, because I'm not, but it registered with me that I didn't anticipate being 29 and without kids. When I thought about what I wanted to do and where I'd be, that was never part of the plan. And yes, it is all God's plan anyway, but I felt like He would have granted this miracle by now in my life.

This is a hard thing for me to fully understand and grasp. And something I will probably never understand in this lifetime.

Infertility ABCs

Over the past two plus years I have become very familiar with terminology I never knew existed. Thus the inspiration for the Infertility ABCs. These are just some of the words that have become a part of my everyday vocabulary. It is when I think about stuff like this I realize how much this has become a part of who I am and how my life has fundamentally changed due to this struggle to have a child.

A- Anovuilation, androgens, acupuncture

B- Basal Body Temperature, BFN (big fat negative), baseline ultrasound

C-Cervical Mucus, Clomid

E- Endometrium

F- Follicle size, FSH (follicle stimulating hormone)

G- Glucose Tolerance Test

H- HSG, HCG shot

I- IUI, IVF, insulin resistance

L- LH (Leteinizing hormone), Luteal Phase, Letrozole

M- Metformin

O- OPK (ovulation predictor kit), ovarian cysts

P- PI (primary infertility), Progesterone, PCOS

R- RE (reproductive endocrinologist)

S- Sonohystogram, SA (semen analysis)

T- TTC (trying to conceive), TWW (two week wait)

U- Uterus

V- Vaginal ultrasound

W- WNT (within normal limits)

A good reminder

I was talking with a good friend yesterday who reminded me of a wonderful song which I had unfortunately forgotten about. It speaks to where I am at right now. I hope is blesses you.

God's Country

Since moving away from Arizona I have begun spreading the rumor that Arizona is God's Country. Just recently I was trying to convince a volunteer at my school library with the facts.

*Arizona has no natural disasters. That's right..no volcanoes (which they have in WA), earthquakes (ditto in WA), tornadoes, hurricanes, or flooding. Now I know some of you might say, "Kortney, there is indeed flooding in AZ." That is true, but I have never seen a flood destroy entire neighborhoods or people rowing boats down a street. Our floods go in flood zones 'cause we are in God's country. ;)

*Arizona has the Grand Canyon. It's a wonder of the world. Enough said.

*Arizona has Monument Valley, Sedona, Karchner Caverns, Canyon de Chelly...the list goes on and on. So many b

eautiful wonders, and many you can only find in Arizona.

*Arizona has so many varied climates: desert, pine forests, shrublands, woodlands, grasslands. It's almost as if God decided to put a potpourri of flavors in Arizona.

*Arizona has the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen. Almost every night God takes out His paintbrush!

I bought a book called "Arizona On My Mind" so I could get a glimpse of God's Country when I got homesick. One of my favorite quotes in the book is by former Senator Barry Goldwater.

"I noticed immediately a more bracing quality in the air; a clearer, bluer sky, a more buoyant note in the song of the birds, a snap and a sparkle in the air that only Arizona has, and I said to myself, without reference to a map, that we were now HOME."

If you have any more ideas about why AZ is God's country please post them in the comments area! And for my few Seattlite readers, if you haven't been to AZ then you should go! :) You'll love it!

Full of Surprises

I will apologize in advance for this super long post. If you don't have time to read the whole thing, jump to the end to get the doctor update.

This week has just been crazy. Enough said. I have been trying to relax and stay calm and that just didn't happen.

Let's start at the beginning.

On Tuesday night I was planning ahead (no surprise being the Type A person I am) and prepping for Wednesday's dinner by making the chili ahead of time. Then I can just plug in the crock pot Wednesday morning and save 45 minutes of sleep by not making the chili (cutting all the veggies, browning the meat, adding the spices) in the morning. I was about 10 minutes from completion and opening up a can of black beans when the top of the can fell into the can. I started to pry it out with my fingers and thought, "Don't be stupid. Get out a knife to help pry it out." So I got out a knife, got the lid out, and somehow I still ended up cutting my finger.

I immediately started running it under the faucet, but the blood was gushing out and Jon quickly but calmly ran into the kitchen and said, "I think we should go to the hospital." I knew if it was serious enough for Jon to suggest a visit to the ER at 10:00PM at night, then it was serious. So I started to freak out a little. Ok, maybe a lot. I was helpless to do anything since I was putting intense pressure on my finger and couldn't use either hand. Jon was so great though, staying completely calm and encouraging me each step of the way.

The ER visit was surprisingly quick. We were in and out in about an hour(!), but apparently I was as white as a sheet during the tetanus shot and suture application. At the end of the day I got three stitches in my left index finger. We finally got to bed around midnight.

And that was only Tuesday.

Wednesday we had another late night hosting our small group, and Thursday was an absolutely insane and crazy day at work. I didn't sit at my desk for 2 hours straight, running around helping kids and teaching four classes in the morning non-stop. Then about lunch time I started to feel sick-achy, headache, sore throat, and very lethargic, but I still had four classes to go that I needed to be "on" for. I got home and just crashed. I think the week finally caught up to me.

Today, thankfully, I have off, and I'm going to try to rest, get healthy, and relax. I also had a doctor's appointment this morning. My body has decided to take it's good ol' time this month, and tomorrow it the day of the IUI. This is great because Jon and I don't have to take off work and I won't be back to work till Tuesday. Plenty of time to relax and be calm!

Thank you for your prayers during this time. I really appreciate it!