Full of Surprises

I will apologize in advance for this super long post. If you don't have time to read the whole thing, jump to the end to get the doctor update.

This week has just been crazy. Enough said. I have been trying to relax and stay calm and that just didn't happen.

Let's start at the beginning.

On Tuesday night I was planning ahead (no surprise being the Type A person I am) and prepping for Wednesday's dinner by making the chili ahead of time. Then I can just plug in the crock pot Wednesday morning and save 45 minutes of sleep by not making the chili (cutting all the veggies, browning the meat, adding the spices) in the morning. I was about 10 minutes from completion and opening up a can of black beans when the top of the can fell into the can. I started to pry it out with my fingers and thought, "Don't be stupid. Get out a knife to help pry it out." So I got out a knife, got the lid out, and somehow I still ended up cutting my finger.

I immediately started running it under the faucet, but the blood was gushing out and Jon quickly but calmly ran into the kitchen and said, "I think we should go to the hospital." I knew if it was serious enough for Jon to suggest a visit to the ER at 10:00PM at night, then it was serious. So I started to freak out a little. Ok, maybe a lot. I was helpless to do anything since I was putting intense pressure on my finger and couldn't use either hand. Jon was so great though, staying completely calm and encouraging me each step of the way.

The ER visit was surprisingly quick. We were in and out in about an hour(!), but apparently I was as white as a sheet during the tetanus shot and suture application. At the end of the day I got three stitches in my left index finger. We finally got to bed around midnight.

And that was only Tuesday.

Wednesday we had another late night hosting our small group, and Thursday was an absolutely insane and crazy day at work. I didn't sit at my desk for 2 hours straight, running around helping kids and teaching four classes in the morning non-stop. Then about lunch time I started to feel sick-achy, headache, sore throat, and very lethargic, but I still had four classes to go that I needed to be "on" for. I got home and just crashed. I think the week finally caught up to me.

Today, thankfully, I have off, and I'm going to try to rest, get healthy, and relax. I also had a doctor's appointment this morning. My body has decided to take it's good ol' time this month, and tomorrow it the day of the IUI. This is great because Jon and I don't have to take off work and I won't be back to work till Tuesday. Plenty of time to relax and be calm!

Thank you for your prayers during this time. I really appreciate it!

The Joy (?) of Flexibility

The doctor's appointment went well, but unfortunately my follicles aren't large enough to complete the IUI tomorrow as I had hoped. I have a new appointment scheduled for Wednesday, so tentatively everything is hold until then.

Thanks for your continued prayers!

The Appointment and other news

It looks like this Monday will be THE DAY of the IUI. I unfortunately have to come back from the Women's Retreat in Leavenworth, WA a little early in order to see my doctor on Sunday morning for an ultrasound. They will check if the follicles are large enough yet for the procedure. If it looks good, then we'll be set to go. The funny thing is I'm almost as nervous driving alone from Leavenworth back to Seattle as the procedure itself. I have to go over Steven's Pass, a high range in the Cascades where, last I checked, there is snow on the ground. I can deal with snow on the ground. I just don't want the snow to be on the road or coming down out of the sky when I come home because I am petrified to drive with small white frozen precipitation around me, and doing so all by myself amps up my nervousness level.

Anyway...back to the IUI. Worst case scenario the procedure will be pushed back to Tuesday, but I hope this isn't the case because I would have to take off work. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but I have an observation scheduled with an Seattle Pacific University proctor for my library endorsement that day. I really hope I don't have to reschedule!

I also realize that you are supposed to be relaxed and calm if you want to have a baby, and just reading this through so far makes me laugh because I am SO NOT relaxed and calm. Yea, so pray for me cause I need it!

Another little spicy meatball threw itself out there yesterday. Jon and I are still debating about coming home or staying in Seattle. One day it is Phoenix, the next day it is Seattle. Literally. A planner like me is so not happy about this. My principal came into the library yesterday and announced the district decided to convert my contract, and I will have a job next year (assuming they don't RIF all first year teachers in the district). So if I stay I will at least have a half time job again, but it also makes the situation slightly more complicated than leaving when I knew I had no prospects here for my professional career.

At this point I just wish we had one thing in life that we could count on. I think God is trying to teach me the patience thing these past few years, and I just want to implore Him to move on from that one. How about a pure, unadulterated rejoicing period a la Psalm 92? I think I could deal with that one for a change.

A Crossroads

The year was 2003. I was visiting an OBGYN for the first time to figure out where my little monthly friend had been for the past nine months. Nervous and scared to be visiting this doctor for the first time, I didn't know what to expect. They ran the tests, and my doctor told me I had PCOS.

What did that mean?

My doctor calmly and with a smile informed me that this was a common gynecological disorder. They'd put me on birth control to start up a cycle, and life would be good. Oh, and when I was ready to have a child, she had an "easy fix" to help me.

That was over two years ago. I am still waiting for her promise to come through, and it now appears an "easy fix" will never come. (Certainly didn't come from her after she sent me on my merry way after one month of trying her sure thing before she said, "That's all I can do").

I've tried drugs, gone the natural route, prayed like crazy, given my body a break from the emotional and physical drain, but the end result is still a big fat negative at the end of each month.

After much prayer and discussion we have decided to pursue our first ART (Advanced Reproductive Technology) treatment: IUI. Although for those in the business this is a common procedure, even done by nurses instead of doctors, it is NOT commonplace for me. I know others who have done this procedure, and I always prayed I wouldn't have to do this. The thought of IUI would make me cry because it turns the process of having a child, something that is supposed to be private and exciting, to a procedure that happens in a sterile room with bright lights, an ultrasound monitor, and with way more than two people involved in the process.

For those people who have gotten a baby from this procedure, I fully get and understand why they came to a point to do this, even though I'm sure they must have had some of my same feelings. I am now at that place, too. The hope to expand our family is a greater desire for me than having this process done the way that I dreamed it would happen.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I could use your prayers for:

*Success for the procedure. Let's pray it works!

*That I would be as calm and stress free as possible during this process. Easier said than done.

*Jon and I would draw closer to God and each other during this time.

*That no complications, although rare, would result from the procedure or the meds I have to go on.

*My heart would be prepared for whatever the outcome, and that I would trust God more during this time.

*I am scheduled to go on a church retreat right around the time this procedure might need to occur. Please pray for God's perfect timing.

*However you feel led to pray! :)

The procedure will probably take place within the next two weeks, and I'll only be updating this site for exact dates (not FaceBook or Twitter). I will do my best to post so you can pray specifically on the date of the procedure, too.