Examining faith

Recently I have been challenged to examine what it means to have faith. I mean I know what it means in definition, but putting it into practice and living it out is a totally separate reality. Honestly, what does it look like to have complete faith to trust in God?

• I have read Hebrews 11 frequently to get an idea of what the heroes of faith did in order to be mentioned in this chapter.
• I have read stories of people throughout the Old and New Testament who showed great faith in the midst of extreme trials, some similar to mine.
• I have been challenged by our gifted pastor at Bethany Community who has reminded me that sometimes following God's will looks (and might feel) silly. Think the Israelites circumcising all their men right before a battle or John the Baptist not understanding why he would be sitting in jail if Jesus was really the Messiah.

Yet all of these individuals had faith that God was just, good, trustworthy, and keeps His promises.

So what does that mean for me?

It means sometimes I stink at this no matter how much Bible reading I complete. Sometimes I just want God to talk to me directly so I can tell that He hears me or remind me He is in control just like He frequently did in the Bible.

It means we wanting to put out a fleece and instantly receiving feedback that God has plans to to make me prosper. (Which many would successfully argue actually showed a lack of faith on the part of Gideon)

It means that sometimes I break down and cry because I don't understand and feel confused and alone.

It means that sometimes I see God working and feel at peace that He is good and His timing is perfect.

It means that Bible verses provide comfort when people can't, no matter how hard they try (Lately Hebrews 11:40 Psalm 94:18-19, Psalm 42 are especially dear).

It means me trying to understand the idea that God "has plans to prosper you, to give you a hope for the future" and that future may not look the same as I want it to look. This truth is a hard pill to swallow.

And it definitely means that God is still working on me and refining me. Too had that refining is difficult and painful.

God, I thank you for the little things you have shown me recently that help remind me that you are so present and here with me. I know you cry when I cry, I know you love me more than I can imagine. Lord, help me to be trust you completely. Help me to have faith in You and You alone. Help me to be a witness to those around me during this time. If it be your will, I pray that my deepest desires would be quick in coming and that You'd prepare my heart to wait with peace and respond joyfully no matter the answer.