Adoption Nation book and thoughts

As I recently posted, I read the book Adoption Nation which gives a lot of information about domestic and international adoptions, stories of people who have navigated the system, etc. One of the most interesting parts of the book was reading about how Americans view adoption as others opinions are something Jon and I would undoubtedly encounter as we seriously consider adoption to expand our family.

The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute conducted a survey of Americans about how they perceive adoption. In order to make this interactive as possible, perhaps you could take a look at the questions, form your opinion, and then scroll down to see if your opinion is similar to that of other Americans.

Do you view adoption as positive, negative, or unsure?

Do you think adoption serves a useful purpose?

Is adoption as good as having your "own" child?

Is it harder to love a child that's not your own flesh and blood?

Do you think adopted kids are first rate? second rate? not sure?

And the results are....

90% view adoption positively

95% said adoption serves a useful purpose
50% said adoption is not quite as good as having one's "own child"
25% said it is harder to love a child that's not your own flesh and blood
70% of Americans consider adoptees to be "first rate." Adam Perman writes, "Although the term (first rate) is not explained, [it] presumably refers to their quality as human beings. 20% said [adoptees are] second rate, and ten percent weren't sure, which means at least one in 5 people who learn that my kids are adopted start out thinking they're somehow inferior without even knowing a single thing about them."

Interesting, huh?

I'm not about to engage in a debate over people's viewpoints on adoption, but I do think it is interesting what the poll shows. I know it has made me think A LOT over the past few weeks. By thinking about our own perceptions and ideas perhaps we will better be able to understand why we believe the way we do.

It would be my hope that if we bring a child into our homes that we didn't biologically create that the people in my life would wholeheartedly love, accept, nurture, and cherish that child. And I believe they would. However, it probably means my child will face prejudice, or at least misunderstanding, from those they encounter in the world.

I have also read a great deal about stories of adoptive parents and adoptees. Seemingly innocent comments that I would never have thought twice about have hurt and scarred adoptees and their families. Comments like, "What happened to his real mom?," "We couldn't have children of our own, so we adopted,"(your adopted children are your children), and "Why did you chose to adopt? Wouldn't you rather have your own?" are painful comments for parents and children who have experienced adoption to hear. It just reiterates to me how much we all need to think twice before we speak because our innocent words can hurt others deeply.

Since reading this book I have read two other adoption books, and I have learned a lot about the entire process during the past month or so. If you would like, we would appreciate your prayers as we have narrowed our eventual adoption path down to two options: domestic adoption and international adoption for South Korea. We also have an appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist on Friday to decide if there are any other medical possibilities we are comfortable pursuing.