Double life

I love traveling, but I think I should start to add the caveat that I love traveling with people.  It's hard going on your own.  For little ol' me I have six thing I am responsible for before heading through security: my carry on suitcase, my black computer bag, my laptop that has to be removed from the bag, my belt has to be taken off, and my shoes and liquids under 4 oz have to be taken out.  It's a lot to even write about let alone try to remember it all.  Plus, when you are by yourself it's a pain and a half to go to the bathroom before you take off.  Seriously.  You have to drag everything with you into the stall because you have no one to watch it for you at the gate.  But mostly it's the pits because it's very lonely.  Even if they would pay me a six figure salary to travel around the country teaching kids-which let's face it no one does that- I wouldn't be happy living this nomadic lifestyle.

I feel like I'm living two lives at the moment, especially since only 3 people at work know I am leaving in less than two months.  I have this whole, HUGE aspect of my life which I am not at liberty to discuss or share.  Plus, I am trying to balance my life between two homes.  My Phoenix home is familiar and friendly.  It's (almost) always sunny and it's comforting and safe.  My family is there, and I am blessed to have such a great support system in them.  When I leave this city and them I feel sad, but at the same time I am so super excited to be seeing Jon in a few hours.   Then we have my new "adopted" city.  Seattle.  It has snow caped peaks, huge evergreen trees, seasons!, and it forces me outside of my comfort zone (which is good and bad).  This city allows me and Jon to make new friends together and, if I really desire, to completely reinvent myself.  

But let's be honest-the rest draw it has is my wonderful husband.  When I a with him it almost feels like Seattle could be home.  I know I am not the first person to move away from their hometown.  I keep telling myself that this is not that big of a deal and it will grow me closer to God and my husband.  But I am a creature of habit, and change is not easy for someone like me.  I also know God is faithful and God may well use this opportunity to prune me.  It's just hard to realize all of this in the midst of the transition.